3 Surprising parenting hacks proven to improve behavior, mental health, & connection in your home

by Robyn Isman | Family, Motherhood

I am Robyn Isman, a mom of 3 and a therapist focusing on anxiety and parenting anxious children. In my work, I have honed in my top 3 parenting hacks that have proven results.  Your child doesn’t have be diagnosed with anything for these to be super helpful!

1. Maintain your own personal boundaries. 

When we create boundaries for ourselves, we decrease accommodations for our children. Decreasing accommodations for our children, increases their frustration tolerance and self-reliance. Literally, taking care of ourselves IS taking care of our kids. MIND BLOWN. Examples of personal boundaries include, socializing outside the home, going out during bedtime, maintaining an exercise routine, having food for dinner that YOU like, making sure you’re at work on time, and more. Sit down and think, “what would I be doing day to day if I did not have to accommodate my children?” Once you have some answers, boil them down to boundaries you can access each day. 

2. DISENGAGE

Disengagement is my favorite parenting hack.  I get it sounds neglectful and anti 2024, but hear me out. As parents, we get sucked into during the worst times.  We get sucked into offering reassurance constantly.  We get sucked into power struggles.  We get sucked into arguments and bribes.  We do our best, but during heightened, emotional times, it is IMPOSSIBLE to make change.  So what is the parenting hack? STOP. Walk away. Take breaths, get water, listen to music.  Disengage in the heightened moment. Give yourself a moment to be calm and give your child the gift of also taking a moment. They won’t take the moment if we don’t. This is your permission to take that break, even for just a few minutes.

3. Tell your child what you’re doing

I think parents think we have to maintain some sort of mystery around parenting. Like if the kid knows what we’re doing it won’t be as effective and will give away that we’re not the experts. That is the opposite of true. Of course, there are age appropriate variations, but in general share your process with your child. If you made a mistake and plan to change a routine in the home, let them know. Explain to your child that you are also learning and growing and that is okay! We can let our child know that we plan to disengage during hard moments, but we will always come back when they are ready. Telling our children what we are doing, is in fact very grounding and feels safe. It also shows your child this isn’t a result of them being bad or doing something wrong, but instead a parenting strategy that you are confident in.  Loop them in and see deeper connections form.

Those are my three, tried and true, parenting hacks.  Join me for 2024 and see what magic we can bring to our homes!

robyn-isman-therapist
Robyn Isman
Therapist at Robyn Isman, LICSW

I am an LICSW, therapist and mom of 3. I am an anxiety expert, who lights up when people gain the skills and belief that they are all that they need! In particular, I specialize working with parents of anxious children.

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1 Comment

  1. Tina

    Woohoo! Smart and practical advice. Thank you!

    Reply

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